Lately, I’ve been pondering the idea of fate and realizing that fate comes in all shapes and sizes. Seems to me we’re living our fate every day and on so many levels, it’s hard to fathom. It’s challenging to be aware of fate’s presence in our lives.
When looking deeper into the way fate plays out, I’ve sorted fate into three levels. Of course it’s more nuanced than that, yet these three levels help me connect and stay aware of fate as it’s happening.
Let’s call level one easy-to-love fate. Level two would be not-hard-but-not-easy-to-accept fate. Think of these outcomes or scenarios as ones that are not too hard to love and accept, but those feelings don’t come easily. Level three are wish-they-never-happened fates. These are the most challenging fates to grapple with because we wish never happened.
To illustrate how I see these three fate-full levels playing out, let me share a fate from each level from my own life.
How I met Glen is a level one easy-to-love fate.
While reading Glen’s book I came upon a tidbit of information that set the meeting-Glen-wheels spinning. On his wish list for items he’d like to have someday he listed a stand-up treadmill. It’s a long story how I ended up with a standing treadmill I didn’t need, but never- the-less I emailed Glen to offer the treadmill as a gift. Treddy, as the treadmill became known, didn’t end up with Glen, however a friendship was born. Who doesn’t love fate precipitating an outcome like this?
For the level two not-hard-but-not-easy-to-accept fate, I’d put monetary losses that brought me back to zero.
I’ve been blessed to live long enough to see this cycle of gain and loss a few times.
I’m not at all dismissing that what I’m calling fate is a blend of fate and human intervention. In hindsight though, when the lessons are learned and the awareness of life’s trials are keen, I can come to love and appreciate the teachings from this medium level of fate.
The level three wish-they-never-happened fate challenges us deeply. They are often deeply painful and lifelong challenges. My mom died when I was six years old. That started a string of outcomes with my father remarrying, new siblings, enormous changes in family dynamics and the list goes on.
This level three fate offered me so many lessons about loss and anger, yet resilience is one profound survival skill I came to appreciate most. Without mustering up resilience (which at the time and for years didn’t realize I had been gifted through this loss), I would not have survived or become the glass-is-half-full girl that I am.
Whether I call it fate and you prefer words such as destiny, providence, or serendipity, what makes our lives meaningful is the awareness to the presence of this force. It’s the feelings and actions we attach to these meanings that creates our lives. So by partnering with fate, rather than resisting, I’d like to think I’ve created a life well-lived given what’s been placed, and continues to be added, to my basket.
Have you given much thought to your relationship with fate? Is there perhaps another level to add to these three? Maybe so. I find the fate lens a fascinating one through which to see my life.
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For over 30 years Shelli has been offering her services to people looking for effective ways to improve their well-being. That includes creating habits that work for them rather than against them, pursuing personal development, and learning about aging well and making sure their brain span matches their lifespan. In other words, helping others to focus on what’s important in life! Also, for nine years and counting she’s been entertaining, educating, and inspiring people with her travel writing.
