Aged Wisdom

I maintain a list of thoughts I have found valuable, which include a couple from my dad:
 
“To the extent possible, make decisions that leave the most options open.”  There will of course be times that your decisions close off other options, and sometimes that’s necessary.  But the number of potential future options rendered impossible by a decision is an important factor in making that decision.
 
“You always end up getting paid for your overtime.”  This may not be popular today, in the age of work-life balance, self-care, remote working and revolt against a 24/7 mentality.  My dad’s point was that putting in extra hours at the job is always rewarded.  First, if you’re working an hourly job, it shows up in your paycheck.  Most of his life, my Dad was paid a salary, but he contends that the extra hours do not go unnoticed or unrewarded.  You are advancing your knowledge, being rewarded with more important projects, making connections, building a reputation.  When you take a long view, all of these things end up being rewarded.

In a recent call, Dad added another one:

“Most of the time, people react to you in the manner you expect them to.”  I had never heard this one from him before, but it’s funny how maybe there is something to genetics.  I’ve been described as, maybe occasionally mocked as, “basically a Labrador retriever.”  I’m always expecting the best.  When I get called into the big boss’ office, I’m assuming it’s for a commendation or special assignment, not for a dressing down or demotion or firing.  Dad realizes it’s not 100%, sometimes people will treat you badly even when you expect them to treat you well.  But I remember studies run on students, where students who were expected to do better did indeed live up to that expectation.

We had a great time at his recent 90th birthday celebration with friends and family in Austin.  One evening we were sitting out on the porch, and I asked Dad about any special words of wisdom, as he looked back on 90 years of life.  His reply surprised me.  He said “When I was around 30 years old, I was really anxious and worried about something big.  I don’t remember today what it even was (editors note: a lesson in itself), but it was a worry that consumed me.  Then one day I said to myself “Look, I’m 30 years old, if something bad was going to happen to me, it would have happened by now.  So clearly, bad things don’t happen to me.”  Now in the years that followed, things happened in my dad’s life that most people would classify as bad things; a divorce, losing the kids to a move across the country, some medical issues (not any longer – he’s as healthy as I am).  But he elaborated, when you have a mindset that bad things don’t happen to you, it gives you perspective, and you’re more attuned to the possibility of a silver lining, even when it’s not immediately obvious.  You go through life optimistic, not fearful.  You take chances and risks… you LIVE!

Seems like wise words indeed for an age where so many are filled with paralyzing anxiety and dread.  So repeat after me; “Bad things don’t happen to me.”