Today is our anniversary… not our real anniversary, but our monthly observance that we call Anniversary Date Night, or ADN for short. I’ve written on various relationship hacks I’ve developed over the years, in Tips from an Old Married Guy, based on a speech given in 2012 in Toastmasters. My reasoning for ADN is as follows: once a year is not enough to celebrate our now over 42 years of marriage. We’ve survived a lot, and even though I married way out of my league, Francie is still with me all these years. As I tell her; “There’s this beautiful woman who walks down the stairs every morning in her bathrobe, and then comes over to sit with me on the couch and read the paper and sip coffee.” I’m still amazed and grateful every morning.
Francie is, by any standard, truly a beauty, inside and out. But part of it is how I see her. We are constantly observing people and judging them by what we see. In the introduction of my book, a woman saw an old guy with a dream about building a gear company, who had maybe made some questionable choices in life, working at washing dishes until the gear company started making money. It’s a good reminder that we can often be so wrong.
On the ledge above my bathroom counter is a picture of Francie from an old driver’s license. I don’t know how old it is, but it’s been many years. The thing is, I still see that pretty, smiling, fun, tanned girl when I see that woman in a red bathroom coming down the stairs. While there’s still things I don’t know about her, I have so much of a richer understanding of her now, based on having been together for so long.
I won’t have that depth of experience with pretty much anyone I meet now, but I want to see the best in them. I want to be wrong about what is often my first gut impression. I like to make up stories while I’m people-watching… good stories, about how the people I see are doing amazing things, have incredible relationships, have had riveting adventures, have endured hardships, and have unique skills. Maybe some of those stories are true…
A beautiful post.
Thank you.